Videos

Just a quick upload today of a few videos of our wonderful compatriot Tanner. The first is a video of his first ever stand-up comedy performance. I'll let you be the judge of it yourself. The second video is of Tanner being spanked by a naughty nurse. The nurse in question was a server at The Heart Attack Grill, a Vegas restaurant which lauds obesity (people over 350 lbs eat for free). The "nurses" there often administer medicine to rowdy customers in the form of paddling. And we aren't talking about a slap on the wrist here, they really give it to em. So we decided Tanner needed some pain management and volunteered him. Then we documented it for all the world to see. Enjoy

More California Pictures

Here is round 2 of our journey to California.

Welcome to Mexico, we drove straight in with no problems at all.

Tijuana was setup kind of on a grid. At large intersections they had roundabouts rather than stoplights and in the center there were a bunch of statues. This is Abraham Lincoln because, as we all know, he freed the Mexicans......

Not only do they still have payphones all over in Mexico, but they are also technicolor!

This is the Tijuana visitor's center. It's a pretty cool building and we my first real concept of us being in a different country. Shit was completely in Spanish and I had no idea what was going on. Thanks for nothing 11 years of lower school Spanish classes.

 When Chris and I were tooling around Tijuana on foot we came across a super sketch-looking Mexi-circus. These were some camels that easily accessible for street pedestrians so I took a photo.

Deep in the distance you can see the outline of San Diego. Mexico is in the foreground.

Mexico was rocking some serious hills which were quite attractive.

Chris and I took a wrong turn and ended up on "Scenic Road". Scenic indeed.

 After our wrong turn we just kinda went with it and then we noticed this cool stadium so we just went ahead and drove towards it.

Turns out it is a bullfighting stadium that is only in use during the summer months.

After admiring the stadium, we finally noticed this large wall right behind us..... you know, the one that divides Mexico from US.  Sidenote: there was a ton of graffiti on the wall with various forms of anti-separatist themes. This is why graffiti is illegal. Everyone isn't Banksy. Any jackass can quote bad Robert Frost poems out of context. You're not cool quit trying. /Aside.

And somehow we accidentally stumbled upon the US-Mexican border and a monument to delineate that invisible line. Way to deface a 100+ yr old monument assbag with a marker.

 The US side of the border monument. Significantly more shopworn.

The actual line of separation.

Me being in 2 places at once.

 Chris standing in 2 places at once.

Some more fun Mexican hills with cows atop them.

The other view of Mexico as we saw it. Hillsides were either picturesque or jam-packed with houses and shacks favella style.

One of the many stands dealing goods to people stuck in forever traffic. I didn't get any pictures of the guys with more outrageous items. My apologies.

Adios amigos. Going back home to the good old US of A.....Except it took us a full hour to cross the border from this point, which was a half-mile from the border crossing.

Our border crossing agent. She was quite nice and we actually talked to her about Savannah. Apparently the Police Academy she attended was located in in like Brunswick or something and she was a big fan of Savannah which is when we then informed her we were from Savannah.

This is a picture of the San Diego skyline as seen from the top of Mt. Soledad. San Diego. Drink it in. It always goes down smooth.

Me looking super quality while escaping from the impromptu spelunking session at the rocks pieces of San Diego. I can't not look high in photos apparently.

 A photo of how large the overpasses are in San Diego. Just massive.

San Diego zoo pictures. Komodo dragon trying to escape.

That's a really cool Opotamus.

Natural camoflauge. I can't tell where one begins and the other ends.

This is a to-scale sculpture of both a fully grown Polar bear and a baby bear as well as a newborn cub in the foreground. Apparently they regularly grow to 10 feet. Originally I was a proponent of punching any wild animal that attacks you straigh in the genitals as no one likes that and it would surely make them think twice about confronting my manliness. Sadly though, the polar bear would probably maul me heinously before I could get my low blows in so instead I'm pretty sure the best way to tackle a polar bear is to bob, weave, and work the body.

Tanner and I rounded the polar bear corner to find Chris awaiting us as such.

Tanner and Hipster Seal coolin it. Hipster Seal is now cooler than all the other seals.

A real life polar bear. They fed him carrots. I was unaware that polar bears crave carrots but if so perhaps more of them should move away from the Arctic Circle as I imagine ice is not the optimal soil for agriculture.

The polar bear swimming around. It was awesome. For whatever reason, after eating what must have been a delicious carrot, the giant ass polar bear made a running leap and dove out into his pool.

Blitzen's goes on vacation to San Diego after Christmas.

 The zoo had a bunch of sculptures of extinct American animals built to actual size. Of course I wanted to ride one. Chris and Tanner called me a child... Sorry for party rocking.

The cat was straight up prowling along the fence line.

This elephant was separated while they were cleaning him off or something. He responded by defecating everywhere. Take that zookeepers.

2 Elephants!

3 Elephants!

This panda didn't know Kung-Fu. It looked like it only knew how to eat and be dirty.

Giraffes are super awkward. Look how knobbly their whole bodies are. They are the pale computer geeks of the animal kingdoms.

Rhinos are cool and these 2 were either playing, fighting, or attempting to mate not really too sure which one but we got to see them corner each other in their pens.

Arctic Fox. They had a dog pen where there were various wild dogs that were paired with domesticated dogs. It apparently calms them down to have a domesticated friend. Like those girls you know who are super prudish but have a whore friend whom they can vicariously live through, only the exact opposite.

This peacock escaped its prison and was just struttign around the zoo like a boss.

Orangutan swinging in action.

Give this guy a trapeze and watch what happens.

Damn dirty ape.


That is it for now. However, I do have a specialty video of Tanner's first stand-up comedy routine in front of a live audience that I will be posting soon so stay posted. Adios.


-Jed

The sun also sets

First off, sorry about the extended absence. I fully intended to write this post 3 days ago but I became consumed with The Hunger Games trilogy. Quick aside: The Hunger Games books are pretty good.
So, the west coast. Jed has provided a glimpse into our adventures in L.A. and San Diego so I will do my best to elaborate and fill in any blanks. I'd like to begin by thanking Chri's frat brother Brent for allowing the three of us to crash at his place for our stay in Los Angeles. I knew it was going o be an entertaining stay when the first words out of his mouth were, "Where'd you get that hat?" As Jed said, our first stop in Cali was Venice Beach. Within seconds, literally, of leaving our cars, we were approached by a traveling salesman. His pitch? "Weed? Weed? Who wants some weed..." A very honed pitch, to be sure. We walked the beach for a good minute, me in my boots, all three of us in jeans, taking a second to let it sink in. We had, after all, just completed a coast to coast journey. It was very...cool. After that we took in the sights, sounds, and smells of Venice Beach. It is a very colorful place with numerous vendors peddling all sorts of colorful wares. Hippies here are a dime-bag a dozen and it smelled like a combination of patchouli, weed, and BO, with some ocean tossed in. After tooling around the beach for a little over an hour, we knew we had to stay for the sunset. Stunning is the word that comes to mind. I enjoy myself a good sunset but watching the sun set on the Pacific Ocean was just amazing. I can now say I have seen the sunrise on the Atlantic and set on the Pacific. Truly spectacular. Day 2 of L.A. was spent taking in some of the sights of Hollywood blvd, which, as Jed mentioned, was a combination of disappointment amd hilarity as we were absolutely abused by "tour guides." That night we went to a sweet bar with Brent and some of his friends. We piled 8 deep into a cab meant for 7 which meant Jed's narrow self was sitting in my lap. After we arrived at the bar we all grabbed drinks and regrouped to discuss a gameplan. I decided to share the story of my divorce along with a few of the jokes I crafted in it's gruesome aftermath. As Jed said, we decided tonight was as good a night as any to reintroduce me into the wild. Long story short, nothing happened. Jed compared me to Stephen Hawking though, which is flattering. Let me just say this: I am not, nor will I ever be, a club/bar guy. It's not my style. Back to our tale. We took a cab home but before retiring for the evening, we located a food truck. Great idea, the food truck. It's a mobile food vendor that sells slightly overpriced greasy food to drunk people late at night. Pretty solid business model. The next morning I wake up mildly hungover, eat a delicious breakfast burrito, say our goodbyes to Brent and the crew, and head to San Diego.
 On the way to San Diego, two noteworthy things happen. The first is that somehow we ended up in little Asia. We took an exit to get drinks and wound up in place where everyone was Asian, all the stores had smiling suns with thumbs up plastered on them (or other equally ridiculous scenes) with names written in what I think was Korean. It was a bit surreal. The second event was when we stoped at a scenic exit to catch a glimpse of the ocean. This is where we noticed the squirrels. Jed absolutely lost it (went nuts, if you will) and if the squirrels we were feeding hadn't become too engorged on saltine crackers to move it's likely we would have spent the rest of the day there. We arrived with some intel from Chris's friend and tracked down the best sandwich shop ever, Board and Brew. We ate sushi for dinner and hit up a cool bar afterwards. The one prevalent theme during all this is the absolute beauty of San Diego. Del Mar was absolutely breathtaking and La Jolla was stellar as well. Day 2 was less fun for me as Chris and Jed explored Mexico and I stayed in the states, sans passport. We ate dinner and then hunted down Mt. Soledad for an amazing view of the urban sprawl that is San Diego. Day 3 was zoo day! I have an unnatural love of the natural world and ever since I was a child I have wanted to visit this zoo. It did not dissappoint. The first exhibit we hit was the reptile house, always one of my favorite zones in any zoo. The San Diego zoo has Komodo Dragons though...so that was awesome. After circling the reptile house and sharing numerous facts about the different snakes and lizards and even properties of venom, Jed asked me why I knew such things. My childhood dream job was to be a herpetologist and as I shared that I realized how part of me still wants that. How cool would it be to work at a zoo with snakes and lizards all day? Doing tests, maybe a few educational shows...awesome. The rest of the zoo was excellent as well, with Jed sharing his full proof "in case of animal attack" plan. You see, nothing likes to be struck in the genitals, so just hit whatever is attacking you there. Shark, polar bear, king cobra...doesn't matter. Jed admitted that his plan would likely fail if ever confronted with a full grown polar bear, a behemoth of an animal that stands ten feet tall on its hind legs. We saw elephants, giraffes, pandas, snakes, big cats, and apes. It was a great end to a great trip. Allow me to correct myself...the encore presentation of Boat and Brew on our way out was the perfect end to our trip. The chocolate on the dick if you will. I'd say this post is lengthy enough so I'll wrap it up here. Thanks for reading guys!

Pictures. Lots of Pictures.

This guy looks legit.

Mushu is running rampant through the Bellagio.

My boys flanking me in front of a waterfall in the Bellagio.

Venetian has some badass decor.

And real life gondoliers.

Criss Angel, part rocker/magician part colossal tool.

The Excalibur looks incredible at night.

There is a volcano in front of Treasure Island and this is it going aggro.

This is the actual World Series of Poker Final Table that they use every year. It is located in the Rio.

The beginning of our trek to Cali....its a goddamn desert out there.

Me out on the Pacific. Coast to coast up in this business.

Sunsets on the water are just the absolute stones.

This is me getting my Christian Rock album cover on.

I took a lot of sunset pictures because they never get old to me. and this is a good one because of the waves crashing in on the jetties.

The famous Chinese Theatre on Hollywood Blvd where are those people put there hands in the cement.

Bill Simmons and a bit of Rufus.

Medical Marijuana places are all over LA and they are delineated like this or just a straight green cross without the pot leaf. they are all super sketchy looking too.

I told you these things don't get old to me and this one has some great coloration going with the clouds.

The famous Oceanside Pier.

 The frontal view of Pacific Park on the Oceanside Pier with a cool octopus thing going on there.

The Venice beach strip where you see rollerbladers in bikinis in all those movies.

The seaside spot where we encountered our furry friends.

SQUIRREL!

First contact is made.

 And now I am Jed Meshew, Lord of the Squirrels.

They were so damn cute. And there tummies were awesome.

The squirrels got up on my chest as you can see here.

As we left we noticed this sign posted right in front of where we parked...we felt it appropriate to take a photo with it.

Best sandwiches in the world.

Cliffs and the beach. Its like a combo.

Another great shot of the cliff-beach juxtaposition. 

I don't get tired of these shots. This is the beach in Del Mar (where the sandwiches were) and I really like the image of rays of sun coming in through the clouds. 

These photos are of our adventure through LA and on the way to San Diego as well as a few leftovers that I hadn't posted and found on the camera. Next I'll post photos of our Mexico and Zoo trip but I feel like this is enough for one posting. Thanks as always.

-Jed