It's a Hard Rock life, for us

Friday. January 20. 2012. This would be the day Jed Meshew would put his money where his enormous mouth was...but we will get to that in a minute. First, a trip to the bank was in order. But before that, the morning. My morning typically consists of waking up, recoiling in horror at the thought of daylight, and then laying in a bed equal parts down and self-loathing for about half an hour before I actually get up and start doing anything even remotely productive. Jeds routine seems to be somewhat similar, just replace the self-loathing clause with pure unbridled narcisism. Chris, on the other hand, apparently uses his dreams to plan his morning workout regime. I wouldn't be surprised to learn that he sleeps with one foot on the floor so as to minimize the time it takes him to roll out of bed and into the push up position. Oh, and he made sure to pack his pull up bar so that he could squeeze even more sweat out of his mornings. Jed and I are lazing about in bed on our respective electronic devices and Chris is just burning calories at a frenzied rate. It creates a very unique dynamic in the house where Jed and I look at each other, think about working out, perform some half assed work out regime, and then just look at Chris and make fun of him for being efficient. Yes, we make fun of him...because it's way easier than doing push ups. Now, the bank trip. In order to make this gambling venture as lucrative as possible, we had to withdraw a hefty sum of money. In cash. You've gotta spend money to make money, as they say, and we were preparing to spend some money. Well, Jed was anyway. Jed got carded twice and had some manager looking lady come by to approve the transaction. Big bawlers, y'all. I really wanted to stand right behind Jed and a little to the right with my left hand conspicuously in my jacket pocket pressing into his back during the whole thing, but I decided against it. No reason to trigger any silent alarms and have to explain to the cops that it was just a joke...I hear that they are not very humor oriented. So, with cash in hand (and by hand I mean Jed's geek squad black tie zippered bag), we departed to the casinos to place the bets. We began our journey at the legendary Mandalay Bay, for surely if any of these casinos had the fights up, it would be the Bay. Unfortunately for us, the Bay onky had 4 of the 10 fights on the card. A quick trip to the Luxor revealed the same fights up. I observed that the Luxor and Mandalay Bay were both MGM casinos and as such, we eliminated the rest of the MGM casinos (aka, half the strip). We returned to the car and Jed suggested the Hard Rock. I quickly mapped out the route and we were on our way to one of the coolest casinos/hotels in Vegas. We dropped Jed off at the front and drove around to find parking. We parked, called Jed to establish a rendevous point, and then set foot into the Hard Rock. Great music, sexy floor girls, and a very cool ambiance greeted us. Also, the Hard Rock came through with all 10 fights on the card. With bets placed and time to kill, we began our exploration of the Hard Rock. One of the first thing we noticed about this particular hotel was the skanks. Scantily clad women were in a great abundance for some reason...and that reason was the Adult Film Expo that was in town and being hosted their. Yes, the Hard Rock was, for a weekend, the Rock Hard. We took in the sights and sounds, made guesses as to how many of the socially awkward, lonely looking men were in town for the Expo, and then headed back out to peruse a few more casinos. We ended up at Caesar's when it was fight time and settled down at the Munch Bar where, lucky for us, it was $7 beer night! Imagine our jubilation. We asked the bar wench (Jennifer Zimmerman, we discovered through much effort) to put it on fuel tv and our day roundhouse kicked into high gear. To avoid a lengthy recap of the fights, something that is better left to Jed, I will just run the highlights. We ended 8-2 overall with a 30% profit on our initial investment. I also learned just how "interesting" money makes things. After closing out our $94 bar tab and watching the last fight, we walked out of Caesar's feeling like the namesake of the casino and returned to our hotel. Friday...was a great day.