.......SQUIRREL!

Peoples-


So we are finally back and there is much to talk about so bear with me as this could be a very long posting. We last left our intrepid adventurers on the mean streets of LA. On Friday morning, we woke up a bit later than usual and went to the famous Hollywood Blvd. Immediately upon leaving our car the first person we saw was a large drag queen, a very auspicious start. We mosied up and down the blvd (I will continue to abbreviate it as I don't know how to spell it and I'm way too lazy to google it) and I noticed 2 things. First, LA sure does love some family unfriendly stores as the blvd was infested with more Pot Shops and tons of lingerie places. Secondly, apparently you can take guided tours of A-lister homes. I say apparently with heaping mounds of sarcasm as these guys were literally every 20 yards. There were faaaaar more guided tours sellers than pot peddlers on Venice Beach which is saying a lot. It was highly unfortunate because they were easily the worst part about an already underwhelming strip experience so on the whole Hollywood Blvd was not really worthwhile. However we did eat a pretty solid cheesesteak for lunch with "The Best Lemonade in California" so not all was lost. After Hollywood Blvd we drove back towards town and the other beach with the pier whose name is escaping me right now. It is at this time, while we were at a red light on Crenshaw Blvd, that I got to see my first celebrity of LA: Bill Simmons. For those who don't know he the most read sports writer in America and the mastermind behind ESPN's 30 for 30 series. I'm a fan of his, so it was pretty cool to see him and his dog Rufus. Anyways, we made it down to the Oceanside Pier and walked down it and spent some time sauntering along the beach. The pier was pretty cool, but really not much different than other piers. We grabbed a couple of fish tacos and then went out for the night. The bar we were at was pretty cool but its the first time I've been to a bar with a real bathroom attendant and while I am pro free Reese's, I really don't feel like I need a guy there to distribute hand soap to me after I pee, which I do in increasing amounts when I'm shit-hammered. I ended up tipping him several dollars which cost me at least one more beer there so it wasn't a sound business decision either. But I digress. Whilst we were out with Chris's frat brother's friends, they all got to hear the sad story of one Tanner Lange and all were in equal agreement that this night out needed to serve as a releasing of Tanner back into the wild of the dating scene. Sadly, this went about as well as a Stephen Hawking fighting a Sabertooth  Tiger. Tanner became too drunk to properly interact with people much less hit on women he had never met before. Now I guess I see why zoos don't just let all their specimens free. After the bar failed us miserably in the loose women aspect, we returned to our couches and passed out for the last time in LA. When we woke up, we were a bit hungover and decided to listen to Brent's advice that the best cure to this predicament was a Gatorade and a breakfast burrito so we followed him to his spot and scarfed some delicious 'rittos. It was just the pick me up we needed and gave us the energy to get on the road and make the trek down to San Diego.


Bur before we got to San Diego 2 important things happened. First, the drive was mostly down the coast so we got to look out onto the Pacific for a portion of our drive. It was so pretty that we pulled off to a random road side stop in what became the first of many fortuitous diversions for us. This stop happened to not only have a great view but a plethora of some goddamn adorable ground squirrels living nearby who were very people friendly. We happened to have a couple of sleeves of crackers in our car and since the squirrels were so approachable we got some crackers and started feeding them. One hour and 2 sleeves of crackers later we were still there playing with the squirrels and Tanner and Chris were stopping me from taking one of them home with me. We were grown ass men on a cross country adventure to a totally new side of the country and maybe the most fun I've had on this whole trip was playing with those squirrels. I'm a child and I make no apologies for it. The other important thing that happened was lunch that day. At the recommendation of another of Chris's friends were went to a sandwich shop in Del Mar California called Board and Brew. Simply put, it was a flavor revelation. I'm a man who rocks Baldino's super hard, and it even hurts me a bit to say this, but it was the best sandwich I've ever eaten. Everything about it was perfect and they had this special sweet and sour sauce that just crushed. It was outrageously good and it actually saddens me that I won't get to eat one of those sandwiches again for a long time, if ever. I highly recommend everyone take a trip to the San Diego area just for that sandwich. After the sandwich, Del Mar had some badass cliffs overlooking the ocean so we tooled it around there to digest and hang out. We finally made it out to San Diego and checked into the hotel and went for a nice sushi dinner. Then we went to a local bar to hang out and shoot some pool. It was a chill night out and then we went back and crashed for Chris and I had a big day ahead of us. On Sunday, Chris and I mounted up and headed for the boarder into Tijuana Mexico against the advice of everyone we talked to who claimed it was a dangerous place. Tanner was unable to join us because, as we've already mentioned before, he leads a sad existence and has never left the country before , ergo he lacks both coolness and a passport, the latter of which is required to make it to Tijuana and back. So, Chris and I were solo on our adventure into danger-land...no kicking pants to save us. However, we found Tijuana to be perfectly safe so all was well. we drove around for a bit and then parked the car to adventure on foot and the whole time I was struck by 1: how dirty it was and 2: how different it was. I mean, we were literally 5 miles from our hotel when we were on Revolucion (the main tourist street) and it was like we were in a completely different country....which we were. Everything seemed so.....Mexican. Not in that stereotypical fashion of sombreros and mariachi bands (though those too did exist) but just in that, third worldy color schema or something. I don't know its hard to elocute but we both felt it. After we were done exploring we got in the car and began to head back but then took a wrong turn and ended up going deeper into the land of the Meehicans. We decided to go with it and followed signs that said  "Scenic Road" and found that it was indeed scenic and took us to a small seaside town at the base of mountain. Coming down the mountain we spied this cool looking stadium and decided to drive towards it. It turned out to be a bull-fighting stadium that is open during the summer months so we didn't get to see and maiming but as chance would have it the stadium was right on the US-Mexico border. We were just out looking around and finally took a look at this monument which was designating the border between the 2 countries. We then felt like complete morons for not realizing what the giant ass metal fence was out our right the whole time. we farted around this area for a bit and took lots of pictures. Then we mounted up to get back to hang with Tanner and hit up the San Diego zoo. Sadly, we were under the impression that 5 miles should only take us roughly 20 minutes to get back. However, due to Mexico having no concept of how signs should properly indicate roads we took several wrong turns before finally getting onto the right path back to the states. Sadly, this path was impeded by roughly 1 million other people going the same direction and half the city of Tijuana peddling the most ridiculous wares to the people stuck in standstill traffic. I mean honestly, they just set up stands in the middle of the road and went walking window to window trying to ship some crap. It was equally 50% fresh fruit/food items and 50% weird knickknacks and things like ceramic Hello Kitty piggy banks. Mix in a couple of guys who seemed to just grab whatever was in their house (carpets, baskets, large religious paintings and crucifixes) and it was just outrageous. I was actually a great thing though because getting back to America took for-fucking-ever so at least it gave me and Chris something to amuse ourselves with while we waited. Seriously, it took us almost  hours to cover 4 miles trying to get back in the country. Compare that with the slight speed bump we crossed over being the only impediment to our journey into Tijuana and it seems to me that we are being a little over prepared on the immigration front. Or perhaps they should just have more than 3 booths open when 200,000 people are trying to legally come into your country. Either one. Thankfully we finally made it back to the good ol US of A but we were far too late to hit up the zoo, so instead we tabled that for Monday and instead went out and explored the city some more. We hit up some more beaches and found these awesome rocks which we discovered had some hidden tunnels in them. We then clambered around the jetties and through the tunnels until it got dark and thought it best to leave. If the squirrels were the most fun, then the spelunking was right behind it and I'd have been perfectly content to keep traversing the same pathways over and over but it got dark and we thought it best to do other things as well.  So we drove around downtown and then went to the top of Mt Soledad which has that incredible Ron Burgundy view of San Diego. Up there it really strikes you how big that city is. It sprawls on seemingly forever and creates the best view at night. We tooled around a bit more and finally went home and crashed. Monday was our last day in Cali so we packed up the car and headed to the zoo. It has been a goal of Tanner's for some time to go to the San Diego Zoo and Chris and I were more than game so we ponied up the cash and went. It was great zoo and it was also huge. We saw a ton of things and I have a lot of pictures but there aren't any particularly salient stories that I can remember at least. After seeing all the zoo had to offer we mounted up for our return trip to Vegas and got on the road. We stopped at Board and Brew for an early dinner and it was even better the second time. Seriously, it is cruel that I got to taste those delectable sandwiches and now I don't have them at my disposal all the time. Alas life goes on and so did we, right back to our happy home at the Extended Stay Las Vegas. Wednesday was another fight night and another big win for me so our journey continues for at least one more week. I'll post all our pictures soon but thats enough for the night. Adios amigos.


-Jed