Short Vegas Stories and Miscellaneous

So during our time here we have run across some interesting things which I've decided to chronicle here in quick vignettes, occasionally with pictures to accompany.

First off:

These are a couple of pictures of the 2 lions in the lion den at the MGM as well as the lion tamer who was in there with them.  First, it is cool as hell to have a lion den even if the lions in it are adolescent.  But it is a whole new level of awesome to be a guy whose job is to be locked in a room with FUCKING lions and move them around so people can take pictures. This guy was the man.  He just walked around the room and threw chews toys at the lions and then grabbed them and flipped the over to rub their tummies.  Now I don't know this first hand but I would imagine lion tummy feels like angel-titties or golden silk or something else equally as magical. and this guy gets to rub them on the regular. Lucky bastard. and he was so nonchalant about it too.  Like it was no big deal that he gets to rub lion tummies and might get mauled to at any moment.  My envy knows no bounds.

Another guy who was equally entertaining was the gentleman Chris mentioned in his blog post who hooked us up with some sweet strip club amenities.  I wish we had a picture of him but sadly time did not allow.  However, if you just picture in your head a portly gentleman originally from Africa who is now in the employ of a Vegas strip club and hands out free promos you would probably come up with a pretty accurate image.  I only mention this guy further because of the gems of wisdom he imparted upon us and which I will now carry with me throughout the rest of this trip. Apparently it is a good idea to use condoms when having sex with Las Vegas strippers. I had no idea.  but even more importantly he informed us that "back in Africa we do not need to use condoms but here you must." I almost informed him that his line of reasoning is probably a major contributor to the AIDS epidemic in Africa but ultimately I decided I would rather not get shanked by a street hustler on the Vegas strip and so instead we nodded politely and were on our way.


The final short story is the one of my new haircut that Chris mentioned in his last blog post and which is apparently interesting enough that several people have texted me asking for a picture. So here it is:

Aside from the fact that in every picture I take (and this one in particular) I look like a stoned tard, this picture is clearly not me at my best. Looking at it you'd have no idea that I am actually a sexy manbeast.  Alas, it is the picture Tanner took so its the one I'll post here. In my defense i didn't ask to have my hair sheared off and gelled into toolishness, i just asked for a trim and she just kept on going. When Chris said its the worst haircut I've ever had he wasn't lying.....assuming you just kind of forget that whole 18 year period of my life where I was rocking a rat tail.... but other than that yeah, it is atrocious and I'm glad I'm around you douchers to catch flak for it.  Well, that's it for now. Deuces.